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Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has long been the reliable retreat of your Daily, and we are always mindful of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, particularly within football. It was quite amusing to discover that a prominent writer a famous broadcaster owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet at his home. Consider the situation for the Barnsley fan who understood the bathroom rather too directly, and was rescued from the vacant Barnsley ground after falling asleep on the loo midway through a 2015 losing match versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and couldn't find his phone and his headwear,” explained an official from the local fire department. And everyone remembers at the pinnacle of his career at Manchester City, the Italian striker entered a community college to use the facilities during 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, before entering and requesting directions to the restrooms, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with the Manchester Evening News. “Subsequently he wandered round the campus as if he owned it.”

The Lavatory Departure

Tuesday marks 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit as England manager after a brief chat in a toilet cubicle alongside FA executive David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat versus Germany during 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the famous old stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, his confidential FA records, he had entered the sodden troubled England locker room right after the game, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams energized, both of them pleading for the official to reason with Keegan. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies found him slumped – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – within the changing area's edge, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Collaring Keegan, Davies tried desperately to save the circumstance.

“What place could we identify for a private conversation?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with an England manager as players dived into the water. Just a single choice remained. The lavatory booths. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history occurred in the ancient loos of an arena marked for removal. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I closed the door after us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I cannot inspire the squad. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Consequences

Consequently, Keegan quit, subsequently confessing he considered his period as Three Lions boss “empty”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's an extremely challenging position.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are long gone, although a German now works in the technical area Keegan previously used. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year's international tournament: National team followers, value this time. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Current Reports

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Today's Statement

“We remained in an extended queue, wearing only our undergarments. We were Europe’s best referees, premier athletes, inspirations, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with great integrity … but no one said anything. We scarcely made eye contact, our gazes flickered a bit nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina inspected us completely with a freezing stare. Silent and observant” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures officials were once put through by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“How important is a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss called ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to take care of the first team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles.

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and distributed some merchandise, I have decided to put finger to keypad and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the school playground with kids he expected would overpower him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his option to move to Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|